I See The Moon, Does The Moon See Me?

On Saturday, the King and I were supposed to go boating (after the King helped out with a local motocross event). The day was sunny and bright, but slightly cool. Great boating weather.

Until I put on my swimsuit and started to pack our lunches. Then it looked like this.

Which is pretty, but didn't bode well for boating.

Shortly thereafter, the bottom fell out of the sky. The King came home soaked to the bone, and we all agreed that the outing was cancelled. The Queen loves the water, so this news was very sad. We tried to reschedule for the next day but the weather was uncooperative for a second time.

So we went grocery shopping and rented movies instead, which is a big Saturday night for us around here. On Sunday I drove to town to return them. I couldn't help but notice the beautiful moon. It was fascinating and tempting to look at the moon rather than the road, but the Queen likes the land of the living so I waited until I got home to snap some lovely pics.

The King suggested that perhaps the best photo opportunity might exist by the barn, so we hopped into the royal carriage and headed that way. 

The royal barn looks creepy at night.

The neighbor wants to use it to hang his tobacco, so he bushhogged a trail around it. If I didn't know that we knew where we were going it would have been terrifying, but our land doesn't drop off anywhere and it was safe.

I feel like this is where the killer would hang his victim's corpses if this were a horror movie. Just behind that door...

When we got home I stepped onto the deck to get a photo of the moon through the trees because I also think that's pretty, if not a little blurred.

Today we hunted for rocks - a task that is pretty easy since the field is rife with them. The King on his 4-wheeler and the Queen on the riding mower with the cart behind. A friend of ours stopped us and said it should be the other way around and I told him the 4-wheeler was more manly. 

He laughed.

The 4-wheeler is a bit small. But the 4-wheeler is fast and the mower is not, and therein lies part of the rationale. The other reason is that the Queen knows how to drive the mower.

So we amassed a large pile of rocks of all sizes. Not really sure what we plan to do with them, but at least they won't dull the mower blades, and that's really the point behind our hunt.

Today was also a monumental day because we acquired a tiller and a weight bench. One of the neighbors was getting rid of the weight bench at a yard sale. It was $75, marked down to $60 and we practically stole it for $40. Covered in pink fluorescent zebra fabric, it was hard to resist, so we gave in (it will be recovered with something more suited to the royal household). It will reside in the basement since we have no more room within the castle walls.

Mayor Tom traded us for his tiller, which is awesome. I love acquiring things and not spending money. And now we can do soooo many things... put in a flowerbed, put in a garden, find more rocks.

The tiller will also reside in the basement (but we won't reupholster it).

Tomorrow?

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. We're so unpredictable that you just never know... but I'm guessing there will be tilling involved

Lordy Jesus It's a Fahr

Today I put eggs into a pan, covered them with water and put them on the burner to boil.

And then I decided to go to the grocery store.

When I got home I realized my eggs were still on the stove... boiling their little hearts out. I had completely forgotten about them. It happened in less than a minute. I mean, I literally turned the stove on and forgot about the damn eggs.

It happened like this: I needed pork roast for dinner and it needed to go into the slow cooker so time was of the essence. It was urrrrrrrgent.

I asked the King if he needed anything from the auto parts store, the gas station or the grocery store and set out to get my pork roast and refill two gas cans.

Mind you, the whole circuit from the house to the grocery store to the gas station and back probably took me less than 15 minutes (the perks of a small town), but I can't believe I completely forgot about my eggs and left the house.

Getting old is not for the faint of heart.

So we survived that one. No fire. The eggs were as edible as eggs ever are (I had to eat egg whites with salt and pepper and I DID NOT LIKE IT but I will stick to this diet no matter what!).

Cut to lunch.

I don't normally use the broiler. Mostly because I don't understand it. I mean, how long do you typically broil things? Who knows? Not me. So I use it to melt cheese when I make nachos, but that's the extent of my broiling expertise.

So why do I mention my broiler? Because I actually attempted to use it this afternoon. And now I know why it's not my method of choice.

You see, I was cooking steak. The recipe said to broil it for seven minutes... seven minutes. Seven minutes isn't a long time really. But it's long enough... to start a fire.

Yep. My steaks caught on fire. Actually, a puddle of liquified fat pooling around the steaks caught fire.

No, I don't have a picture to post.

I thought about it, because it's not something you see every day. But I figured I'd rather save the house from burning down than have a picture to show you - and I stand by that decision.

First I assumed turning the broiler off and leaving the oven door closed might smother the fire (depriving it of oxygen). That was not the case. It seemed quite content to thrive in there, mocking me (I swear I heard Disco Inferno coming from behind the oven door).

Removing the flaming pan from the oven seemed like the worst possible idea... so Plan B was to remove the steaks with tongs then smother the fire with an overturned skillet. Didn't get to fully execute that plan because when the King reached in with the tongs and moved the steak, the fire went out on its own. Sometime it's good to be married to a (volunteer) fireman. But I had the skillet all ready just in case, and I'm pretty sure that would have worked.

If it hadn't worked, Plan C was to employ the fire extinguisher, but I didn't want to waste the steak if I could help it. Thank goodness I didn't have to. It was delicious. Not worth burning the house down, but tasty nonetheless.

Oh to still be working at NASA where I would actually have a safety moment to share that would entertain and delight my co-workers... a nice change from "be careful when you're driving because other people are crazy," which was pretty much the default.

So anyway, three days into what turns out to be a diet that could apparently kill me if I'm not vigilant, I am three pounds down. So far, so good. And most of the food is good. I'm not a fan of eggs (really weird since I want chickens, I know, the Queen is a riddle wrapped in an enigma painted on a puzzle).

Speaking of puzzles. I purchased a rabbit hutch from a clearance store for $5. I know, right? I was all excited. Then it sat in the closet for about six months. Today the King attempted to put it together. There were no instructions but the King is a clever man.

He declared it a cheap piece of crap.

So we won't use it for rabbits because it's probably too flimsy, but I'm thinking sometimes chickens need a place to themselves when they get pasty butt or they eat too much and their legs temporarily won't support them (yes! I've been reading about chickens!). So instead of a rabbit hutch, this little cottage will be the quarantine house where chickens can go to be alone and collect their thoughts, relax... get broody. Whatevs.

These are some of the treats we give to the royal hounds. They help Daisy Bear not produce the ass juice. So they are the most awesome thing ever. These and the no scoot pumpkin/flax treats. And the dogs love them so it's win-win.

Why am I telling you about them? Because the King was examining the package and say this.

So... that's good to know. You know, in case you wanted to wash it. For whatever reason.

And finally, a new bird has made an appearance in the royal garden! Welcome little bird.

The back yard is looking so good now. The tree has been cut up and moved, a lot of the weeds have been hacked down. We may even be getting a tiller soon (bartering is the best thing ever) and I can finally plant my flower garden and start landscaping the front yard. I have plants that I have been keeping alive in preparation for this very event! I have hostas and coleus and rosemary and thyme... oh boy! And then I have seeds... it's going to be so much fun to see how it all turns out.

Well kiddos, Daisy Bear says this day is over and she is glad. I wholeheartedly agree...

The Tortoise and the Lawn Mower

More work on the tree today. Most of the trunk has now been relocated to the front yard - woot! So the King mowed the back, and the field while I raked up more yard debris. I'm going to have nightmares about giant spiders for weeks. Have I mentioned how big the spiders are around here???

Meanwhile, as the King was mowing the field, he thought he saw a giant rock. Upon closer inspection it was this guy... very lucky not to have been scalped!

He said he's never seen a turtle move so quickly. :)

Our field seems like an odd place for a turtle, but who are we to tell a turtle where it can and cannot be? And we do have a creek nearby, so maybe he was just exploring.

While the King was mowing, I went to the store to get groceries. The King and I are determined to slim our waistlines so that we don't appear quite so royal (no need to intimidate anyone), so we are attempting the Fast Metabolism Diet. It's a 28 day commitment and we think that's doable. Week one is in the refrigerator waiting to be eaten. 

The biggest hurdle for me will be having to eat breakfast. The Queen is not a fan. And also remembering to exercise. I used to like the feel of my muscles working... not that I ever liked to exercise, but I did appreciate feeling strong and I want it back. So it will be Cardio Bootcamp on Monday, weights and strength training on Wednesday and yoga over the weekend. The King will probably use the treadmill instead of doing bootcamp, I'm just doing what I know I liked and what used to work.

Not much more to tell, tonight was Fear the Walking Dead, a background story about how the zombie apocalypse happened. So far, so interesting. I'm invested. But I still miss the original and can't wait for October!!!!

The Benny Hill Show... with Hummingbirds

We have three hummingbirds. Two that like each other, and one... whose perseverance is impressive. He gets chased away hundreds of times a day but still comes back to the feeders. It's a wonder he doesn't starve. In fact, I figure most of the energy the hummingbirds get from the nectar in the feeders is completely expended in their efforts to approach and/or defend said feeders.

What is all the ruckus?

No ruckus Mr. Pigeon. The missus and I are just enjoying an early dinner.

Let me just finish up here.

Oh no... not him again.

Fly away!

Do you see him? Lying in wait?

Let me help you. I have eagle eyes!

Oh deary dear... these hummingbirds... why can't we just get along?

Little hummingbird is just waiting for his nemesis to come around. 

See? Just there in the red circle. 

I suppose we need to move one of the feeders further into the yard. I have plans to put it in another flower bed but we need to till it up first. I don't know why the ruby throated hummers are so aggressive but they can't seem to get along and defending his turf is a never ending job so I guess I have to be the adult here.

Wish me luck.

Singin' in the Rain

I'm a Dane-a-dor, rain drops do not scare me... but I don't care for whiskers on kittens. Does that make me a bad dog?

Mike was working on the tree and I was raking up yard muck, and rocks that the earth belched up, when the clouds rolled in. Then came the thunder. And the rain drops. Typical Tennessee storm, fast and hard with a lot of bluster, then gone.

Until we decided to fire up the grill, that is. Then we began to experience a steady drizzle.

I guess them's the breaks. Grilling in the rain presents challenges but they can be overcome. Just move the grill into the living room!

I'M JOKING MOTHER SPOCK...

All the little yellow birds came out to play today. They must like the nut and fruit mix I put out. They're so spoiled, these birds...

They have suet, they have a 'premium' bird seed mix and now they also have nuts and fruit... all my animals eat better than me.

Well, not tonight... we're having chicken and coconut rice... a delicious chicken marinated in coconut milk, yogurt, peanut butter and other good stuff.

There's something pretty about this ombre sky. Even though it puts a kink in our plans.

And the poke berry bush.

Even though the sunflowers are dying off, our little yellow friends seem to like them. They won't like them much longer, I'm going to pull them up soon.

Poor little guy. He committed suicide in our charcoal chimney.

Is it macabre to take his picture?

Like my grandma with her camera in a funeral home taking pictures of the casket kind of macabre? Or is it more like a scholarly interest?

Ah yes, I forgot about the grill... best go check the chicken. We're also having grilled zucchini, summer squash and bell peppers. YUM!

I'm Stok'd!

Much Ado About Nothing

The blog really should be called "much to do... we did nothing." Which isn't exactly true, but not exactly false either.

It's been sprinkling for the last two days, so we could have gone back down to the basement, but we didn't. The King has been telecommuting. I've been cooking. Nothing else really got done.

The barbecue is gone, so we have carnitas now. Carnitas are yummy y'all. Mr. Bo-Bo certainly thinks so.

Daisy Bear thinks so too.

Time for a siesta.

Another praying mantis. I was removing some of the poison ivy from the house when I noticed him.

He noticed me too. Creeeeeeepy.

No mom, I didn't touch the poison ivy. :)

I've been putting together recipe notebook 2.0. The first one got doused in oil somewhere along the way, so it was legible but I could no longer add recipes.

Why write them instead of typing them or simply saving them to Pinterest?

Nostalgia. My mom has a little notebook of recipes that she wrote out and I'll inherit that someday. It will be a little piece of her with her fancy schmancy handwriting. I like handwritten stuff, it's a lost art so I appreciate the effort it takes.

I don't have kids to pass the notebook to, but I hope one of my relatives steps up and reveals themselves to be culinarily inclined. If so, maybe they'll appreciate it... if they can read it. I know, my handwriting looks like a cross between shorthand and chicken scratch. But if you can decipher it, these are the best of the best, the recipes I make time and again.

I know you've missed the birds.

It's so hard to get a good picture of Daisy Bear. She's either a silhouette or the sun is behind her and she's blurred out... but she's such a pretty girl... just look at that face.

Adieu for now... maybe tomorrow there will be more to report.

Smokin'

Oh boy-oh-boy! Our new smoker is the bomb. Heat it up, add the wood chips, some apple juice, let it go... Like a dream.

And the barbeque... best we've had since leaving Texas.

The King, checking on the meat. We cooked baby back ribs, beef ribs and a small brisket. Go big or go home!

Look at how beautiful it is.

Sometimes we play a game with the royal hounds... 'which one do you want?' and we put a different treat in each hand. I know they most likely aren't choosing, they just want a damn treat... 

Give me a damn treat!

Yummmm... was hard to wait, but we let it sit for an hour to reabsorb some of the juices, and since it was late we only had one beef rib each because we wanted to taste the fruits... or meats of our labors.

 So today I made the rest of the meal. The King read that if the yolks have a grey outer lining, they were cooked too long. Luckily mine were juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust right.

In they go with the mustard, mayo, salt, pepper, pickled jalapenos and bacon. I would almost say yum but I hate eggs.

Empty vessels waiting to be filled.

I do this solely for the King's benefit. I must be pretty good at it because he snarfs them down like there's no tomorrow... but there is a tomorrow and he did leave some eggs for later.

This is how I fill the eggs. I put the yolk mixture into a plastic baggie, snip off a corner and use it like a piping bag. One that I can throw away and not have to clean. Works pretty well if I do say so m'self.

Sprinkle with paprika and some freshly cracked pepper and voila. Deviled eggs fit for my King.

And I made barbecue sauce to go with the meat, not that it needed it, but we'll have bbq baked potatoes later and it will come in handy for that.

Speaking of potatoes... tater salad with pickled jalapenos and bacon.

And baked beans. Mine never turn out as good as my mom's. Gonna have to work on that.

Feast your eyes on our feast...

That's a whole plate of deliciousness right there!

Mr. Bo-Bo would like some of that deliciousness.

Pretty please?

With a Daisy Bear on top?

Sorry kids... there's nothing left but this here bone.

Daisy Bear looks more like Crazy Bear... gimme dat bone!

And within moments... it was gone.

Time to make some brown sugar-cinnamon-rum ice cream while the King continues to work on the tree.

Woohoo! Future humus. Not to be confused with hummus, which tastes good... while humus does not. Unless you're a termite or a carpenter ant.

A hunk of quartz we found in the yard. It's bigger than a softball and hurts a lot more if it's lobbed at your head.

Mayor Tom paid us a visit. He is modeling the latest in tendon technology. This superhero looking contraption helps the lymph drain so that his wrist doesn't swell.

The King stole the jester's hat.

This is my grandmother's soap box. Yes! Soap boxes do exist!

When I was a kid I was endlessly fascinated by it.

And inside were bits and bobs, earrings that were broken... nothing much but I loved to go through the soap box and examine it all.

Tonight instead of working on the tree, we started organizing the basement. A lot got tossed, a lot is going to be donated, and the rest is much, much easier to find. And we found some treasures like the soap box, Paddywax candles (my favorite!) and books. Plus, it the Queen loses weight there is an endless supply of spiffy clothing... the Queen misses her colorful frocks.

We still have 2/3 of the basement left to do, but at least part of it looks nice.

And now I am going to kick my feet up, relax and watch a little tv. I've earned it!