My Life is the Pits

The Queen's obsession with cherries is legendary. Every year when they appear at the local proprietorship, the King has to stop me from grabbing all of the bags and hoarding them for myself. Cherries are my favorite. I eat them raw, use them in cobblers, cookies and pies... and my favorite way to employ cherries... in margaritas.

Today the Queen found them on sale for under $2/lb... and they were plump and gorgeous. You can imagine what happened next. You can't? Well let me show you!

First things first - the pits have to go.

Carnage ensues.

This is the royal pitter.

Look at the cherry. It is almost the size of a plum.

Don't try to pit plums with this tool... it's good, but not that good.

If you would like a pitter like this one, you can purchase one here. <--- This link is what is known as an 'affiliate link'. Purchases made through such link do not cost extra, but the kingdom will earn $1.55 for every cherry pitter purchased. Yes, for the price of a pitter, you can allow me to bring 1 lb of cherries into my home. Cherries that were formerly homeless with no one to care for them, manhandled by random strangers but ultimately left behind while the onions and tomatoes were snatched up instead. Poor cherries, help me save them... help me save them all!

Mr. Bo-Bo also loves cherries.

Note the glazed, almost zombified look on his face. He really wants some of the Queen's cherries. Some... who am I kidding? He would eat them all and not bat an eye.

I made the mistake of giving a cherry to Mr. Bo-Bo and Daisy Bear once, just to see if they would eat it. I should have known the outcome. Now they hound me everytime I'm trying to enjoy my cherries.

I have also made this mistake with lettuce, broccoli, blueberries, watermelon, carrots, chicken, rice, pumpkin seeds and celery. You would think I would learn, but it's too much fun to test their limits (we always check first to verify that everything we feed them is safe for them to eat).

Now the initial stages of begging are past and we are much more serious about our desires. GIVE ME A CHERRY WOMAN!

Nay Bo-Bo... nay. You shall not have a cherry...!

Okay, maybe one.

Meanwhile, Daisy Bear plays coy, but in truth she is waiting for the moment when a cherry flies across the room and she can claim it for her very own.

It has been known to happen.

Look ma - no pit! But let me pop it into my mouth to be sure.

Yes, it was pit-free. The Queen believes in strict quality control standards.

The juice spatter was not confined to the bowl, but all's well that ends well because the Queen now has four pounds of cherries in the freezer... only four more pounds to go.